It’s like, “Hey, we’re all gonna hide in the dark and jump out at you, man. We love you so much, we’re gonna give you a heart attack.”. People say age is just a number. Yeah, but so is the speed limit, and that still gets me in trouble. I guess age is a number that can’t get you a speeding ticket, man.So don’t forget to vote for these lame puns and tell us which ones did you like the most! #1. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one. Report. 76 points. POST.70th Birthday Jokes That Are Sure To Make You Smile. Turning 70 is a momentous occasion that deserves to be celebrated with some laughter. Whether you’re looking for jokes to share with the birthday honoree or just need some funny age-related humor to enjoy, this collection of 70th birthday jokes is sure to bring a smile.(273) $3.82 Funny 70th Birthday Gift Wrap | For Him Her | Friend | Men Women | Mum Dad Nan Grandad | Aunt Uncle | Wrapping Paper For 70th Birthday (9.8k) $5.35 70th Birthday Card for Men, Whisky Fan Drinker Bday Gift, 70 Year Old Gifts, Funny Dad Birthday Card, Dad Birthday Joke, Seventy Birthday (4.7k) $9.97Funny 70th Birthday Wishes For Wife. • Keeping up with a girl like you was always hard, and now that you're turning 70, I'm still in your dust! • Looking at you always takes me back to when we were in our twenties, and the passion within me burns just as hot. Happy 70th birthday, to my eternal flame. Happy birdie-day! I know, bad pun (almost as bad as your golf game). 3. Birthdays are like golfing – it’s a lot more fun if you don’t keep count. 4. You’re not “over the hill”, you’re on the “back nine”. Happy birthday! 5. Your head’s starting to look more and more like a golf ball – bald and dimpled.Tells me stories of when she was young, She says that although she old now, In years gone by, she had so much fun, Today it is her birthday, And for someone who is so sweet. You deserve a special day, Grandma, So come on, we’re going out for a treat! Wish you a happy 70th birthday, grandma. -Janyce Cotterill.WHAT ARE SOME FUNNY 70TH BIRTHDAY JOKES? - REFERENCE.COM. 2020-03-29 Follow Us: Facebook. Twitter. Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman’s age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. Another joke tells the story of a …With celebration comes great laughs. Celebrate a birthday with our collection of birthday jokes guaranteed to make anyone feel special. Jan 4, 2023 · How to Write a Funny Birthday Speech. A funny birthday speech is a great way to get the party started. The key is to focus on finding something humorous that resonates with your audience; after all, laughter is contagious! Think of Appropriate Jokes for the Occasion. First, think about what kind of jokes or anecdotes might be appropriate for ... Happy birthday to the coworker with the world’s greatest coworker. 7. Happy birthday! You’re one day closer to retirement. 8. Happy birthday to the only coworker I want to hang out with outside of work. 9. Happy birthday, coworker. You’re the only reason I’m still at this job.For his 70th birthday, one of his students gave the zen master a big box with a ribbon around it. When the master opened the box, he found that there was nothing inside. "Aha," he exclaimed, "just what I wanted!" upvote downvote report. A big list of 70th birthday jokes! 9 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond!২৩ মার্চ, ২০২২ ... These funny birthday jokes will make their big day that much more special. Write these hilarious one liners in their birthday card or use a ...70th Birthday Shirt Funny Tshirt T-Shirt T Tee Bday Men Women Ladies Gift Present Turning 70 years old Husband Wife 1949 T-rex Tyrannosaurus. (26.6k) $16.48. $32.96 (50% off) 70th Birthday gift for women or men, 70th Birthday Socks, Funny socks with sayings! 55 Fart Jokes That Will Knock The Wind Out Of You. We don’t mean to toot our own horn, but we can’t possibly be the only ones who love good toilet humor. No matter your age, a fart will never not be funny, and a shart will never not be tragically hilarious. After all, everyone passes wind, from the youngest of babies to the eldest ...HOW TO WRITE A WITTY & HEARTFELT 70TH BIRTHDAY. Brainstorm – go back over old memories for all the content you’ll ever need; Connect your stories with a theme – find a common motif to link anecdotes together; Don’t go on and on – you never need more than 8 minutes; Back up your claims – don’t just say your loved one is fabulous, explain how!; …Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman's age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. There are lots to choose from, with birthday cards perfect for him or her, silly and funny cards, cards for kids, and you'll even find birthday . ...Mom: Honey, that’s ok, I have one in the cupboard. You: More like you had one in the cupboard – sorry! Wake up mom, it’s your birthday – the only day I wake up before you. I’d sleep in if I could, but I always forget to get you a card. Thank God the supermarket is open early. Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman's age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. Customize one of these funny . Send funny cards to your loved ones and friends to make their birthdays even more memorable.Here are funny 80th birthday sayings and quotes for a friend or loved one who is turning 80 years old. You can use these sayings and quotes in a card, in a toast, as part of a poem, or as part of a speech. #1 Enjoy the time when you can actually predict the weather with your knees. We all envy you for that, trust me. There are 80 years of experience right here.If you’re unsure how to begin, let us show you some examples of limericks. These funny short poems, with their bouncy rhythm and absurd themes, may even get you chuckling! #1. An elderly man called Keith, Mislaid his set of false teeth. They'd been laid on a chair, He'd forgot they were there, Sat down, and was bitten beneath.Below are a few great quotes that you can incorporate into your brother in law’s birthday card. “All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece but not too much.”. – George Harrison. Happy birthday to the world’s greatest brother in law. May your year be filled with plenty of love, happiness and cake!1. What's the secret to having a smoking hot body as a senior? Cremation. 2. What is a prize old people can win for aging? Atrophy. 3. I used to know a couple who grew fruit trees together. They...A guy goes on vacation in the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. So the couple goes to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home, but it will cost over $5,000, whereas burying her in the Holy Land would cost only $150. “We’ll ship her home,” says the husband.One of the leading ways to find free and high-quality birthday cards free printable funny downloads is to start by searching online. The internet is home to a wide diversity of websites that offer free birthday cards free printable funny downloads, as well as templates, coloring pages, and more.With celebration comes great laughs. Celebrate a birthday with our collection of birthday jokes guaranteed to make anyone feel special. 80th Birthday Funny Quotes. “At 80, you have the right to forget where you put your glasses, but not where you parked your car.”. “80 is the new 60, just with more wisdom and fewer teeth.”. “Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been for 80 amazing years.”. “80 is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.”.Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman's age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. There are lots to choose from, with birthday cards perfect for him or her, silly and funny cards, cards for kids, and you'll even find birthday . ...70th Birthday Wishes - Funny & Sincere Wishes for 70th Birthdays. It's not always easy to come up with the perfect thing to say on a birthday card. This list of 70th Birthday Wishes will help you find the perfect sentiment. 🖤 Please CAREFULLY read the points below before purchasing. • This item can be shipped or delivered digitally via email.Oct 3, 2023 · Catchy 70th Birthday Phrases Keeping up with a girl like you was always hard, and now that you’re turning 70, I’m still in your dust, happy 70th... Don’t think of it like you’re already 70, but that you’re only 70 years old. Thank you for all the happiness we have... One of the first-rate methods to find free and high-quality humorous birthday free printable funny birthday cards for coworkers downloads is to start by seeking online. The internet is home to a broad variation of websites that offer free humorous birthday free printable funny birthday cards for coworkers downloads, along with templates ...There’s something harmful and horrific spreading across this country, and it’s not a biological illness. It’s the idea that calling coronavirus “kung flu” is funny. There’s something harmful and horrific spreading across this country, and i...Funny Birthday Limericks: Get the Party Going with These Fun Little Poems! The person who made up the first funny birthday limericks may be a mystery, but the result is undeniable: hilarious, sometimes bawdy poetry that gets everybody laughing with the victim - er - lucky lad or lass having a birthday. Limericks are great for Irish birthday ...A big list of 70th birthday jokes! 9 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond!These funny birthday jokes for a friend or family member have clean punchlines so they’re appropriate for adults and kids of all ages — whether you need a …No one asked for this. It’s a shiny piece of metal that combines two German favorites: cash and bratwurst with curry sauce. This seemingly priceless combination can be yours for just €13 ($14.90), thanks to the Staatliche Münze Berlin, a mi...70th Birthday Card for Men, Whisky Fan Drinker Bday Gift, 70 Year Old Gifts, Funny Dad Birthday Card, Dad Birthday Joke, Seventy Birthday (4.5k) $ 9.97Pair these funny gifts with your hilarious memes and jokes from above: Funny 30th birthday card; This hilarious mug; 30th birthday crown; 30th birthday sash; 30th birthday stemless wineglass; Any of these make a perfect gift pairing to a funny joke like the ones above. A funny 30th birthday gift is always a good way to celebrate.Funny 70th Birthday Card With Envelope, Big Vintage Happy 70 Year Old Birthday Gifts Idea For Woman, Men, Dad, Mom, Her, Unique Back In 1953 Party Decor Supplies, Signature Board 16x10'' 4.6 out of 5 stars 490. $5.99 $ 5. 99. FREE delivery Thu, Aug 17 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon.41+ Best Funny 70th Birthday Wishes, Messages, & Quotes Looking for funny 70th birthday wishes? I am glad that your search has come to an end. In this article, I have written for you some of the best happy funny 70th birthday wishes and messages for your loved ones. Read: Blessing 70th Birthday Wishes Table of Contents Funny 70th Birthday WishesMore Funny Jokes & Humor. If you enjoyed our anniversary jokes, you may also like these other pages of laughs: Birthday Puns. Dating Jokes. Divorce Jokes. Flirting Jokes. Funny Birthday Wishes. Funny Quotes …Happy birthday jokes in hindi: एक दोस्त दुसरे से : भाई तुम्हारी आँखे क्यों सूजी है. दूसरा दोस्त: कल मेरी बीवी का बर्थडे था. पहला दोस्त: तो क्या हुआ. दूसरा ...Birthday Party Photography. Mom Party. Jul 11, 2017 - Explore Alice Adler's board "70th Birthday Funny Quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about 70th birthday, funny quotes, birthday.Sep 19, 2023 · Speeches – If you’re giving a speech at a 70th birthday party, incorporate some funny quotes into your remarks. It’s a great way to entertain the audience and make the guest of honor feel special. Personalizing gifts – Use a funny quote about turning 70 to personalize a gift for someone. For example, you could put a quote on a mug, t ... I hope it doesn’t smell!”. Her husband sighs and responds “Well, remind me that we need to get you new hearing aids later today.”. “Farting at the nudist colony” joke: A man paid $100,000 to join a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there a gorgeous woman walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.Classic Cocktails With Funny Names. Bartenders have an incredible sense of humor, sometimes a bit dry like their martinis, but these funny names have gone down in history. Fish House Punch. Between the Sheets. Harvey Wallbanger. Fuzzy Navel. Monkey Gland. Hanky Panky.List of 22 Birthday Knock Knock Jokes. Discover our hilarious collection of knock-knock jokes about birthdays! Celebrate with our birthday knock-knock jokes, sure to entertain children, teens, and adults. Unwrap the gift of laughter with these comical quips, making every day feel like your special day. Ready to laugh until it's your birthday ... A guy goes on vacation in the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. So the couple goes to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home, but it will cost over $5,000, whereas burying her in the Holy Land would cost only $150. “We’ll ship her home,” says the husband.We also have Funny 70th Birthday Joke quotes and sayings related to Funny 70th Birthday Joke. TOPIC. AUTHOR. Close. Search. Close. Search. Close. Search. Close. Search. ... 60th Birthday 40th Birthday Jokes Diplomacy Getting Old 21st Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Birthday Wishes Marriage Keeping It Real. Show more. …A man gives his wife an expensive bottle of wine for her birthday. After a few glasses the wife blurts out, “I love you”. The husband responds: “Is that you or the wine talking?”. Wife: “This is me, talking to the wine.”. Man wakes up and says nothing. Wife annoyed shouts, “You’ve forgotten what day it is haven’t you.”.These funny birthday jokes for a friend or family member have clean punchlines so they’re appropriate for adults and kids of all ages — whether you need a …Old Age Jokes. Laughing can make you live longer. Read up on our old age jokes and “getting old” jokes to live forever. Getting old doesn’t have to be sad. Make fun of those grey hairs with ...80th birthday jokes. Photo courtesy of You Can Be Funny. It's all good! An 80th birthday joke is a great way to poke a little fun at age. Why turning eighty is a good thing. . . You can hide your own Easter eggs. There's …You are 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, 94 around the golf course. When you're told to act your own age, and you die. Birthday One Liners. Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job. Dear google. Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman's age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. Customize one of these funny . Send funny cards to your loved ones and friends to make their birthdays even more memorable.Long-distance laughs. Text this hilarious happy birthday meme to a long-distance friend. Or better yet, go old-school by creating a card with this meme and filling it with a funny birthday quote.A man gives his wife an expensive bottle of wine for her birthday. After a few glasses the wife blurts out, “I love you”. The husband responds: “Is that you or the wine talking?”. Wife: “This is me, talking to the wine.”. Man wakes up and says nothing. Wife annoyed shouts, “You’ve forgotten what day it is haven’t you.”. Funny 70th Birthday Messages. 70-year-olds are always funny. They tell jokes, play with kids, and even sing at family gatherings. So whatever funny word you say, it will undoubtedly leave a sweet impression in their heart. Send one of the following funny 70th birthday wishes and quotes to someone turning 70 years old. Happy 70th Birthday!So whether you're looking for turning 30 jokes, funny birthday puns for a friend who's turning 30 soon, or just want to laugh at yourself, you've come to the right place. Below, we've compiled a lengthy list of 30th birthday jokes, jokes about getting old(er), and just witty adult jokes. Take a look at the funny jokes we have gathered, and let ...List of 22 Birthday Knock Knock Jokes. Discover our hilarious collection of knock-knock jokes about birthdays! Celebrate with our birthday knock-knock jokes, sure to entertain children, teens, and adults. Unwrap the gift of laughter with these comical quips, making every day feel like your special day. 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Personalize free ecards & send online through email, facebook, or twitter! From beautiful flowers to cute cats, funny birthday puns, lots of colorful balloons, unicorns, monsters, and more, there are so many great . 21 best free printable funny birthday cards for adults home family from i0.wp.comMar 29, 2020 · Follow Us: Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman’s age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. Another joke tells the story of a man that buys his wife perfume for her 70th birthday as a way to surprise her because she is expecting ... With celebration comes great laughs. Celebrate a birthday with our collection of birthday jokes guaranteed to make anyone feel special.It would be so much easier to get you the perfect birthday gift if you'd just buy one yourself. Happy birthday! Smart, good-looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday! An amazing watch, a sexy outfit, a souvenir cap, or the latest PS2 game—I was wondering what I could buy you for your birthday. Don't get too excited, though.Quotes to wish Happy Birthday to the young-at-heart set, those turning 70 or thereabouts. A bunch of funny quotes plus some serious as well. “Like a lot of fellows …Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman’s age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds.70th Birthday Sayings for Dad . When your dad turns 70, you can use a quote or saying to let him know how special his birthday is to you. Choose a quote to share greater insight about your relationship with …A little grey hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom. At 60 years old, your birthday suit requires regular ironing. We put 60 candles on your cake, but by the time we got the last one lit, the first twenty had already burned out. At 60, people call you “spry” and you’re not offended.A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. ... Good jokes | Jokes and riddles | Husband jokes | Real funny jokes. K. Kyanah Goddard. Rude Jokes. Religious Jokes. Chat Up Line. Toilet ...Quotes to wish Happy Birthday to the young-at-heart set, those turning 70 or thereabouts. A bunch of funny quotes plus some serious as well. “Like a lot of fellows …Happy birthday, gramps! You’re looking good for your age! They say that wisdom comes with age… so you must be pretty darn wise by now! Happy birthday, old man! You don’t look a day over 40. Oh you’re turning 37, well happy birthday anyway, you look good! Happy birthday you old fart!১৪ নভে, ২০১৮ ... ... 70th-birthday-royal-family-photo/ Subscribe to Global News Channel HERE: http://bit.ly/20fcXDc Like Global News on Facebook HERE: http://bit ...Birthday Jokes From the Stars. Looking 50 is great—if you’re 60. — Joan Rivers. They Call it Nesting. I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do. — Phyllis Diller. The Small Print. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.I hope it doesn’t smell!”. Her husband sighs and responds “Well, remind me that we need to get you new hearing aids later today.”. “Farting at the nudist colony” joke: A man paid $100,000 to join a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there a gorgeous woman walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.Vintage Made In 1953 70th Birthday Decorations T-Shirt Men, Funny 70 Birthday Men Shirt, Men Born In 1953 Shirt, 70 Years Old Birthday Gift. (2k) $13.12. $16.00 (18% off) FREE shipping. Personalised Funny 70th Birthday cards from Moonpig. Make them smile by uploading a photo to their personalised card today. Next day delivery available.More Funny Jokes & Humor. If you enjoyed our anniversary jokes, you may also like these other pages of laughs: Birthday Puns. Dating Jokes. Divorce Jokes. Flirting Jokes. Funny Birthday Wishes. Funny Quotes …Funny 70th Birthday Cards for Men Woman - Old Monkeys - Happy Birthday Card for Dad Mum Great Grandad Grandpa Nanny Grandma Gran Uncle Auntie, 145mm x 145mm Rude Joke Offensive Humour Greeting Cards ... 'Happy 70th Birthday Oldi' - Hilarious Gift for Dad Age Seventy 70 - Old Age Jokes for Grandpa - Comes with Fun Stickers. 4.6 out of …You are 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, 94 around the golf course. When you're told to act your own age, and you die. Birthday One Liners. Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job. Dear google.Looking for funny 50th birthday jokes for this momentous occasion? Turning 50 is a milestone worth celebrating, and a good excuse for a laugh too! Our ...What are some funny 70th birthday jokes? Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman's age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the. Its been a funny year With good happenings and bad Life isnt. These are examples of funny things to write in a 70th birthday card.List of 22 Birthday Knock Knock Jokes. Discover our hilarious collection of knock-knock jokes about birthdays! Celebrate with our birthday knock-knock jokes, sure to entertain children, teens, and adults. Unwrap the gift of laughter with these comical quips, making every day feel like your special day. Ready to laugh until it's your birthday ...1. What’s the secret to having a smoking hot body as a senior? Cremation. 2. What is a, 80 Funny Birthday Wishes. iStock. 1. May you live to be so old that the very sight of y, Sep 19, 2023 · Speeches – If you’re giving a speech at a 70th birthday part, Pair these funny gifts with your hilarious memes and jokes from above: Funny 30th birthd, A: Open the fridge, put the giraffe in, and close the fridge. Q: What are, Happy birthday to my sister, the arch enemy of my life, the kryptonite to my superpowers, the mouse to my elephant, , 70th Birthday Gifts, Funny 70th Birthday Gift Ideas, Gift Idea For Happy 70th Birthday , Jul 11, 2017 - Explore Alice Adler's board "70th Birthday Fu, The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to for, Funny 70th Birthday Jokes • Funny birthday jokes Quotes, Senior Citizen Jokes:"Highway Driving". As a senior , Joke has 84.98 % from 1657 votes. More jokes about: birthday, fami, Funny Birthday Limericks: Get the Party Going with These Fun, Funny 69th sixty nine birthday greeting card his her f, Best 50th Birthday Jokes and Sayings. “The years between , Long-distance laughs. Text this hilarious happy birthday m, Funny birthday jokes, even those from the always optimistic , Jul 15, 2017 - A lady decided to give herself a big t.