1. "I was an accident waiting to happen, and then I happened." 2. "I'm so single that my friends are starting to refer to me as a government project." 3. "I've always been a class clown. I used to get in trouble for making my teachers laugh." 4. "I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I do have a black belt in stupidity." 5.Funny People Jokes Just Related Authors Steven Wright , Groucho Marx , Robin Williams , Mitch Hedberg , W. C. Fields , George Carlin , Bob Newhart , Rodney Dangerfield "We were all semen, look how far we've come." "They're just jokes, people. They can't all be funny." "Everything tastes like eggs. Theo Von, No Offense." "I could have been a dancer. I just never got my shot at it." "If I could have anything, I would probably get an old Ford F-150 from the '70s." "I grew up in a real Christian home.Here are some of his funniest quotes: “I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.” “I'm not a hoarder, I'm a collector of useless things.” “I'm not a procrastinator, I'm just really good at finding things to do other than what I'm supposed to be doing.” “I'm not a pessimist, I'm just a realist ... It's funny I just had a theo von savage moments compilation come up on my recommended youtube videos. These made me laugh "you look like a french paul bunyan ... You look like Paul Bunyan if you just drank champagne all day and never did any forestry" "That's not a haircut, that's all you got left bruh!" "chris you look like a deaf guy that goes …Posted on 2/2/21 at 2:32 pm to TailbackU. “New Jersey I’d say is one of the top 50 states.”. “Sometimes I wish my balls were square so I could stack em.”. “My neighbor once had this fur coat in his backyard and my dogs would always go over and frick it.”. This thread is long past overdue.Best 79 Quotes by Theo Von – Page 3 of 3. “They got some transcripts from the Mayflower. A lot of people were like: Yeah motherf*cker, we goin' to America!”. Theo Von. “They made hot dog buns so you don’t gotta put your lips on the wiener…. My granddaddy taught me that.”.Quotations and aphorisms by Theo Von: Howie Mandel is my favorite. He's so friendly, and he's a family man. For a lot of celebrities, to keep a genuineness about them, I think, can be tough, but he really seems to work hard to do that. ~Theo Von Link:Feb 10, 2021 · Strawberry, however, was 13 years sober. Von described him as “eloquent, successful, and I mean he was a dang king sitting in front of me.”. When Von saw the contrast between himself and one ... SUBSCRIBE for more exclusive Full Send content! ⭐️Posted on 2/2/21 at 2:32 pm to TailbackU. "New Jersey I'd say is one of the top 50 states.". "Sometimes I wish my balls were square so I could stack em.". "My neighbor once had this fur coat in his backyard and my dogs would always go over and frick it.". This thread is long past overdue.Here is some off the top: My neighbor used to have a furcoat in the yard and dogs would come over and f*ck it Short and ugly? You gut dat double. I look like Tom Brady and Shrek Looking at Brad Pitt I used to work in a door... store Ever fuckin' eat Dove, bruh?Funny 'Dodgeball' Quotes 'Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story' is a complete comedy, so listing out the funniest quotes from the movie was hard but worth it, share these quotes too and have a great laugh together. 16. "Peter LaFleur: Hey, White. White Goodman: Yeah? Peter LaFleur: You look awful fat in those pants." - 'Dodgeball'. 17.High quality Theo Von-inspired gifts and merchandise. T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. 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Theo talks with Jeff about what's special about New Jersey, their definitions of success, and ...So funny that Theo's level of comedy actually makes someone look stupid. Not just like "Joe is unfunny compared to Theo", but like literally Joe is too dumb to understand how funny Theo is, or he purposely doesn't give him the laughs out of jealousy.Stand up highlights of comedian Theo VonFollow Joke WRLD on:Tik Tok - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdMus6EG/IG - https://www.instagram.com/joke_wrldd/Second Channe...1 paulyyp • 3 yr. ago During early quarantine he called lungs "them O2 sip hitters daddyyy". Never left me 41 RampersandY • 3 yr. ago A couple years ago there was a recurring guest. 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Javascript and RSS feeds.Theo Von's quote, "Laughter is the best medicine, but sometimes you need a double dose," captures the essence of humor's healing power. Laughter has long been recognized as a …I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. Steve Martin. I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. Steve Martin. Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. Steve Martin. Love is a promise delivered already broken.Best 79 Quotes by Theo Von – Page 3 of 3. “They got some transcripts from the Mayflower. A lot of people were like: Yeah motherf*cker, we goin' to America!”. Theo Von. “They made hot dog buns so you don’t gotta put your lips on the wiener…. My granddaddy taught me that.”.Theo Von is a multi-talented comedian, author, and podcast host known for his unique style of storytelling and quick wit. Born and raised in Covington, Louisiana, Theo has become one of the most sought-after stand-up comedians in recent years, captivating audiences with his deeply personal and relatable anecdotes. ... 30 Best Theo Von Quotes ...PODCAST CHANNEL - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOil1KGkeBuIInyobMq9MlAINSTAGRAM - https://www.instagram.com/yinyangmonkey.tv ...Explore the best Theo Von quotes here at OpenQuotes. Quotations, aphorisms and citations by Theo VonThree high schools. I was funny. I thought I was being funny. I just had an opinion about everything that was said in school, so that got me thrown out. ... Theo Von Quotes. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. Quote Of The Day Feeds. Javascript and RSS feeds.Henry Ford. Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Alrded Lord Tennyson. “Time is money.”. – Benjamin Franklin. A man is but what he knows. Francis Bacon. You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take. Wayne Gretzky.Theo Von Funniest Quotes "Life's like a stand-up comedy set – full of punchlines, callbacks, and unexpected applause breaks." "I'm so introspective, I have debates with my own reflections." "If life's a game, I'm the rule-bending wildcard that keeps everyone guessing."Funny Story 😂 #theovon #theovonmoments #theovonclips #thispastweekend. wildestclipz. The way bro thinks 😂 #theovon #theovonclips #theovonmoments #theovonpodcast #theovonfunny #theovonn #podcastfunnymoments #podcast #rickandmorty. ... How is Theo Von not cancelled 😭 #theovon #theovonclips #theovonmoments.87K Likes, 182 Comments. TikTok video from Uh oh (@lmpder.x): "Theo Von funniest moments part 10!😂 #theovon #theovonclips #theovonmoments #comedian #joerogan #joeroganpodcast #joeroganexperience #funniest #funny #funnyvideos #funnyvideo #funnyclip #funnyclips". theo von. original sound - Uh oh.1 paulyyp • 3 yr. ago During early quarantine he called lungs "them O2 sip hitters daddyyy". Never left me 41 RampersandY • 3 yr. ago A couple years ago there was a recurring guest. Trick lung Mickey or trick lung Nick something like that. who had to get a lung transplant and he had tons of names for lungs. 13 [deleted] • 3 yr. agoPeople know when it's fake. Gabriel Iglesias. Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers. Gabriel Iglesias. Enjoy the best Gabriel Iglesias Quotes at BrainyQuote. Quotations by Gabriel Iglesias, American Comedian, Born July 15, 1976. Share with your friends.71 Followers, 13 Following, 18 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Theo Von Quotes (@quotetheovon)Theo Von: No Offense. If Donald J. Trump doesn’t already have a favorite stand-up comedian, then he may find his kindred spirit in Theo Von. Both are known to millions as “reality TV” stars ...Theo Von:https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonEnjoy the best Jemaine Clement Quotes at BrainyQuote. Quotations by Jemaine Clement, New Zealander Comedian, Born January 10, 1974. ... Funny Quotes; Attitude Quotes; Friendship Quotes; Music Quotes; Menu. Cite this page; Find Jemaine Clement on: Wikipedia; ... Theo Von Quotes. Rodney Dangerfield71 Followers, 13 Following, 18 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Theo Von Quotes (@quotetheovon) a list of 41 titles created 29 Jun 2018. Stand Up. a list of 21 titles created 26 Jul 2016. stand up specials. a list of 45 titles created 25 Jun 2020. Standup Comedy. a list of 21 titles created 16 Apr 2019. All the movies i have ever watched throughout the years. a list of 4902 titles created 03 Jul 2012. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us.Check out our theo von selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our clothing shops.Theo Von's quote, "Laughter is the best medicine, but sometimes you need a double dose," captures the essence of humor's healing power. Laughter has long been recognized as a …Krackin Shorts Theo Von Quotes HAHAHAHA Hilariuos!!! YouTube Short!!! Give me your thoughts on this comedy genious in the comments!!! Please like, subscribe,...3/10. I mean it's better than No Offense, but that's not saying much. sean78745-596-488080 20 October 2021. Theo is funny on his podcast but I feel like he is just too nervous during filming. He has a cult following though so whoever goes to his shows will still participate because they like him as a person.Subscribe to Joke WRLD to Stay In The Comedy Loop!Latest Podcast - https://youtu.be/wgk63WIlDG8Free Stickers - https://www.instagram.com/joke.wrld/Joke WRLD...So funny that Theo's level of comedy actually makes someone look stupid. Not just like "Joe is unfunny compared to Theo", but like literally Joe is too dumb to understand how funny Theo is, or he purposely doesn't give him the laughs out of jealousy. Theo Von Quotes. In Louisiana, you can drive when you’re 15 – you could get your driving permit. ... They can’t all be funny. – Theo Von. As soon as I was ... 150 votes, 44 comments. 78K subscribers in the TheoVon community. The place for stand-up, podcasts, videos, and comedic ramblings of Theo Von. Watch…Theo Von Quotes. They're just jokes, people. They can't all be funny. In Louisiana, you can drive when you're 15 - you could get your driving permit. 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Rebegurumu • 8 mo. ago. oh yeah sure, i mistook analogies for comparisons. 3 could be one but i dont remember what he compared it to. 3.Saw someone else say this : comedy special ops. His sense of humor is so creative, unique, hilarious and unorthodox that I can't compare him to any other comedian. He's also so naturally/intrinsically funny that adds to his writing and makes him an improv master. 5.Theo Von. . In Louisiana, you can drive when you're 15 - you could get your driving permit. I remember, during driver's ed, I fell asleep at the wheel one day. I was tired. The guy shook me and switched and said he was getting into the driver's seat. I didn't fail, so I guess you can fall asleep occasionally. It's Louisiana.Henry Ford. Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Alrded Lord Tennyson. “Time is money.”. – Benjamin Franklin. A man is but what he knows. Francis Bacon. You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take. Wayne Gretzky.Most Famous Theo Von Quotes of All Time! We have created a collection of some of the best theo-von quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Rakhi 2023GULP. In hindsight, Theo’s esoteric style and Burr’s brashness were a recipe for disaster. Couple that with Burr’s short fuse from his seemingly endless podcast appearances to promote his new special, Theo appeared to be one dead-end comment away from Burr spitting in his face. After the interview was released, hundreds of fans …There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it. Dennis Miller. I rant, therefore I am. Dennis Miller. I want to help the helpless, but I don't want to help the clueless. Dennis Miller. I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”. —Jack Handey. 6. Bob: “Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.”. Peter: “I wouldn ... 25. “When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most.” —Unknown. 26. “Lonely people are always up in the middle of the night.” —Unknown. 27. “The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.” —Unknown. 28. “Loneliness is a part of our life.2 oct. 2023 ... THEO VON QUOTES ... “When somebody loves you, they care about what you want. It helps them, too, to know what you want, because they can pick what ...Theo Von Funniest Quotes "Life's like a stand-up comedy set – full of punchlines, callbacks, and unexpected applause breaks." "I'm so introspective, I have debates with my own reflections." "If life's a game, I'm the rule-bending wildcard that keeps everyone guessing."Theo Von Funny Quotes "Life's a comedy show, and I'm the one-man improv troupe." "You ever notice how wisdom is like glitter? It gets everywhere and sticks around." "I'm so introspective, I have conversations with my own shadows." "If life's a rollercoaster, I'm the guy yelling 'wheee' in the backseat."Best 79 Quotes by Theo Von – Page 1 of 3. “A hat is just like a tiny apartment for your head.”. “A plate is just a spread out cup.”. “A PT Cruiser is like a hearse for …All clips used in this video are from This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #4039 Theo Von Quotes (2023) Theo Von. They're just jokes, people. They can't all be funny. #Funny #Jokes #Just. 0 1. Theo Von. In Louisiana, you can drive when you're 15 - you could get your driving permit. I remember, during driver's ed, I …For a lot of celebrities, to keep a genuineness about them, I think, can be tough, but he really seems to work hard to do that. - Theo Von. #Family. #Man. #Tough. #Work Hard. …Subscribe to Joke WRLD to Stay In The Comedy Loop!Free Stickers - https://www.instagram.com/joke.wrld/Joke WRLD Podcast: https://jokewrld.buzzsprout.com/---...Subscribe to Joke WRLD to Stay In The Comedy Loop!Free Stickers - https://www.instagram.com/joke.wrld/Joke WRLD Podcast: https://jokewrld.buzzsprout.com/---...We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us.That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”. —Jack Handey. 6. Bob: “Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.”. Peter: “I wouldn ..., Subscribe to Joke WRLD to Stay In The Comedy Loop!Free Stickers - https://www.instag, Apr 27, 2023 · Theo Von Is Taking Over Your TikTok FYP. 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